Cry havoc, and let slip the Orcs of Waaagh!

Da Black Gobbo: Ah ha, da stoopid 'umie left iz computer again. Good, cos I wanna tell ya all about da new Orc 'n' Gobbos army book (should be Gobbos 'n' Orcs). Der are at least five pages in da book, I fink der iz more, but countin' is real difficult. 'Ere are a couple ov pikchas ov da new book.

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  Orcs an' Gobbos are well 'ard an' so iz dis book - I could easily beat a Snotling to deff wiv it. Of course, no uvver race in Warhammer has a book as 'ard as dis wun, so we must be da best. Da pikcha iz a bit messy cos da squigs got der teef on it.

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  Dis iz also da first full colour army book made by da guys in da Stoodio. Dey iz well clever, cos Orcs and Gobbos are real colourful an' bright, so we need all da colours to show off how awesome we iz. Da next pikcha is ded cool cos it- gah! No! ow ow ow!

Dan: How did he get back in here? Right, I've stuck him in a box for the moment where he can't cause any more harm. The Black Goblin is right though, this book is absolutely amazing, and it's even got that beautiful new book smell (it definitely doesn't smell of Squigs). Unlike our resident green mischief, I can count, and there are 112 full colour pages in this book - it really is a wonder to behold. Here are a couple more pictures for you to look at.

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  Every page is printed to look like old parchment, with stunning artwork for almost every unit entry, boarders at the top and bottom of every page with varying designs (bad moons, evil suns and grumpy orc faces), and the occasional Snotling clinging on to a picture or text box. This book is truly brimming with character, you certainly get the impression that it was written and compiled in the Old World by some secret scrivener in a dark dungeon somewhere in the Empire.

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  There are loads of cool little box-outs hidden amongst the text telling us about historical Orc battles, where Squig Hoppers came from, how different tribes fight and what happens when Goblins don't share their grub with the boss. There are also a couple of new special characters and some updated rules and backgrounds for the existing ones. There is so much to read it's hard to know quite where to start. [At da bitz wiv Gobbos in it - Da Black Gobbo]

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  The Orc & Goblin timeline is packed full of historical battles (there are no times of peace in this book), which could easily be re-created as full-blown wars on the battlefield. As with all Orc & Goblin endeavours, there is a hint of humour behind the dark violence, such as the untimely death of Goblin Warlord Spinny Backstab, who met his maker beneath the wheels of an Empire Steam Tank.

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  On a practical note, this book is also massively durable. The hardback cover means that, unlike your old army book, it will stay open on the gaming table, which allows you to find rules and check stat lines much easier. It can even stand up on its own - not entirely useful in and of itself, but a true testament to how tough the book is.

So, there you have it, a brand new Orcs & Goblins army book that will make all other army books cry with envy. Gork (and Mork) will be pleased with such a solid, colourful tome of knowledge. And of course there are plenty of new miniatures to back up the new army book, including the biggest Warhammer monster that we have ever made - the Arachnarok Spider. If you now feel the need to paint everything green and shout 'Waaagh!' at the top of your voice, I would suggest checking out the new products below. The greenskins are coming and they're making a hell of a mess, the only question remaining is: will you fight with them, or against them?

Da Black Gobbo: 'Ere iz a couple ov pikchas of models we found too. Jim Sowter (he's one of da web guyz) iz a big fan of us greenies, an' he's been workin' on dis Giant for his army. He calls it Masta-blasta, da tamed one.

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  Jim built da Giant, givin' it some extra parts from 'is bitz box. Da Orc on top 'as da boar ridin' legz from da boyz box, so 'ee can sit on top of da Giant an' ride 'im into battle. Jim also used a squig from da fanatics box, which da Giant iz gonna hurl at somefink.

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  Nick Bayton (who paints lotz of greenies) painted the Giant for Jim for iz burfday. 'Appy burfday Jim! Giants, an uvver big stuff like River Trolls, Stone Trolls an' da Arachnarok Spider, make well good centrepieces for an Orc 'n' Gobbo army as dey stand super-tall over all us littl'uns.